Mommy Confessions

So I recently read one of the many books out there that talk about the misery of motherhood. I admit that I have read a few of these in hopes of laughing along with the clever mommy banter.  I have found  that once you read one "confessional" about the drudgery of motherhood, you have read them all.

 I recently read "Scary Mommy" when it promised hilarious recounts of being a mom and deep confessions from other mothers around the country.  Once again, I was disappointed to see the same complaints and boring secrets. Only one truly made me LOL or laugh out loud as old people call it.

"I love my teenage daughter but everyday when she leaves for school after rolling her eyes at me, I flip her off once she shuts the door...with both hands." That truly cracked me up because I KNOW I was that teenager and I KNOW I will have one just like it!

My friend and neighbor recently posted on FB about this very thing and people complaining about motherhood and how she couldn't understand it. And this is a full-time working mom that just had her third baby with her oldest just turning five AND she cooks...ALL the TIME! It really made me pause and realize that I am definitely guilty of whining about the tasks that come along with being a mom.

It's a different kind of gossip with other mommy friends. There are times where I find myself trying to out-do other moms with how terrible my kid can be. It's like I have forgotten the years we spent working to have her, the treatments, the doctors, the disappointment.  Don't get me wrong, there are still moments, DAYS where it can feel like a chore but I realized that more than anything, it is a gift that I need to revel in.

So I wanted to share my mommy confessions. Not the ones I tend to joke about with mommy friends, but the ones that I know they share with me...the positive ones.

1. There is no one that I would rather spend time with than my kid. I would (and do) pass up opportunities for movies, nights out and drinks to spend time on the ground playing Barbies or watching Disney.  Besides, red wine goes great with Red Vines and "Beauty and the Beast".

2. Being a mother is the best job I have ever had. Yes, calling it a job contradicts what I am really saying but I do feel like raising a person to be a positive contributing member of society is a job. While I really like recruiting, I LOVE being a mom. My kid would totally be hired all over again.

3. I like being in bed early and don't miss going out at ALL.  Yes, part of that comes from being a total homebody that hates to straighten my hair but a lot of it is motherhood. Hangovers and exhaustion do not go well with loud little voices.

4. There are times that I wish we had a house full of children....and then I sober up. All kidding aside, I am beyond excited to add to our family through adoption and know this is what we were meant to do. But I definitely think two at home, three total is our limit.

5. Being a parent is tough on a marriage but makes it stronger at the same time. Getting on the same parenting page is not always easy, especially when you are almost reading a different book. But in the end...divorced, married whatever, you have a common goal and that is a bond that is forever binding.

6. Motherhood does not require perfection. This is definitely a lesson I am working on.  I am not a type A and perfection is not usually my thing in life but for some reason, I second guess every decision I make and worry constantly that I am doing the right thing.  I am learning, in time, that we do the best we can and in the end, it will work out. As long as my daughter stays away from high plastic heels and her name is never announced on "the center stage", we have done our job.

So there are my deep dark confessions.  O.k so they weren't dark or all that funny but I'm sure when I'm having a less reflective day, I will post the dark side. :)

Chocolate covered crack aka Facebook

This is what happens when you quit FB cold turkey, you begin blogging like a madwoman. :)  Just ask my friend K.  We are staying strong though!

I told my co-workers today that I am two days clean but unfortunately I already fell off the wagon for a few minutes tonight.  I wanted to tell my sister, publicly, how proud I am of her for getting into the teaching program at ASU.  I told her on the phone earlier so why the public announcement?  I wanted everyone to know how excited I am and renting a plane and skywriting to advertise it would have been pretty costly.

I was emailing with K today telling her that I simply post status updates in my head now and she said I should write them all down which may be a good idea.  So to copy her, here is what some of my updates would have said the last 3 days:

My mother in law did great in her surgery today to remove the cancer. She is expected to make a complete recovery and we couldn't be happier.

I love my co-workers, they make working in the movie Office Space totally doable.

Orientation next Tuesday for the foster/adoption process, nervous but excited!

Starting a monthly girl's night out to connect with the cool women in my life, yay!

Wow, I already feel better just doing that.

And of course I would have posted a million pics of my baby girl because that is really why I lived on that damn thing.  So instead I will post pics and links of her here or on my other blog. Why do I have two?  I thought I was trying to simplify...hmm.. Not sure how to combine a "family" type blog with my crazy working mom ranting so for now I may keep the two.  I also have a written journal that I use to write to E so she can read it when she decides at 16 that she hates my guts.

So thank you to the readers (ok all 3 of you) that read my craziness.  I miss my FB friends but am happy to be writing and really reaching out again. However, if I start convulsing or shaking, I will need someone to log me in...stat.

Goals...not resolutions and chocolate rehab

Ahhh the new year is here and of course comes the resolutions.  I am trying not to call them that so I actually stick with them for once. So the list of my GOALS....

1. Quit Facebook- well, take an extended break, or maybe a little break.  You can see how well this one is going to go already. Why quit? With the new year I am making an effort to not only make better use of my time but to be more "present". And let's face it, you can be sitting there with your kid holding a Barbie but if your phone is in the other hand while you look at status updates, then you're not really there. And honestly, it's a chance to really connect with the friends in my life instead of stalking them online. :)

2. Get my ass in shape- I am not reallllly counting this one because I already started this mission a few weeks ago by starting to train for a 10k that we are running on 1/28.  It's a retro 10k so I am looking forward to rocking the side ponytail and sweatbands.  Part of this mission though is to stop eating like crap and that means cutting out all of the SUGAR. Chocolate is my crack so unless someone invents a chocolate rehab or stages a Ghiredelli intervention then that one may fly out the window pretty quickly as well.

3. Learn to live in the NOW- this goes along with the FB goal but I am a person that obsesses about the future and needs to have solid plans.  Adopting from foster care  is one of the biggest unknowns that I can think of so I have decided that it is imperative to take it one step at a time and not overthink every little thing. Not to mention that it drives my husband crazy b/c when I overthink, I talk it to DEATH.  So I guess this goal is also to not drive him to drink....well, drink more.

4. Be the change- Yep, it's a bumper sticker.  In fact, it's now the bumper magnet that is proudly placed on the back of my car.  I am officially one of those people, someone that advertises their hobbies, passions, beliefs on the trunk of their car....sigh.  Anyhoo, I have always believed in the power of helping others.  Sometimes I am great about volunteering and sometimes, not so much. I know I need to cut myself a break being a working mom.  But part of a new year is assessing what is important. I have a least a few hours a month to dedicate to others. And while it may be time away from bug, it will be a teaching opportunity and hopefully something we will do together soon. 

I think that is it for now, I'm sure there are a few more in there but I am already in danger of failing two of the four so I figure I need to keep it short.  So if you find that I am blogging status updates, please just know that it is part of my recovery and that I'm working the steps.

Oh and side note: I have gotten back into reading which is one of my first LOVES and I am reading a great book about women dumbing themselves down.  So check it out if you get the chance.

http://www.amazon.com/Think-Straight-Women-Smart-Dumbed-Down/dp/1593156596/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1325564389&sr=8-1